of late

god its hot...not only is it hot, but it just seems to get worse and worse.  the last few days (in the 80's and 90's) have felt like such a relief to what we have been having.

ive been staying busy and not busy...all at once.  i'm in this weird funk right now, and its hard to always see a way out of it.  im doing a bunch of smaller jobs that i really like.  however, i dont feel alot of passion in any of them.  i would trade them for one thing that i really had passion about.  i wish that i could find something, but i dont seem to have much success, and that scares me. i work at hjem (fun), i teach at nwacc and phoenix (good for the checkbook and brain), i sew (fun and rewarding), and i write and do the radio show (which is there to hopefully open doors for me in the future).  the problem is, i dont see any doors opening, and it puts me in this real funk.

add to all of this...our friends just keep moving.  some go to tulsa, some are in chicago, some are in florida, some are in new york, some moved to little rock, hell some moved to africa (although for some reason, i guess we have been blacklisted by them).  it just a weird spot to be in and im afraid of getting into too deep into a dark place and not being able to find my way out.

i dont know...